Pew Pew Pew. We all know the player or players in our local circles that fall into this category. First off, why play with dice if all we are here for, is to have fun. If you really dont want to make a game out of it (if its a game it infers that there is a winner and a loser), then why even bring dice.

Instead I have this to offer. Lets not bring any dice for your just for fun table top experience. Instead lets just do what any good 5 year old will do, and just move our stuff on the board and say "pew pew pew", and knock over a couple dead soldiers. You could even take turns doing this, but taking a turn would once again infer this might be a game, and thus a winner and a loser. This is where the creativity could really begin for your non-competitive fluff player that just wants to have fun, making explosion and dying sound effects.

So all you fluff players, either grow up or become real fluffers. I mean really. There really is lots of room for you in this hobby, however, going around smack talking better players than yourself by claiming "if I spent that much on my army", or "I only play for fun" is really r-trded. I know you only want to play people you know you can beat reliably, so the excuses are really just that, excuses.

Please please, just give up your weak lame excuses, and next time on the table..... just say pew pew pew, and put those dice away.


  1. Long time reader, first time posting. Thank you, Naftka. I am what you call a "fluffy player." This is hilarious. What brought me here was the Bols tournament blog "Touch my army and I'll knock out your teeth punk." Again very funny.

    I'm a fluffy player because I did not like being a rules lawyer *ssh*l* when I was playing 15 years ago. Starting in Rogue Trader I have felt the frustration of new editions, and codexes (looks around for something to vandalize), I have learned there are better ways to enjoy the game. Like when I put down a completely painted army and my opponent has legs glued to bases and only the special characters are completely glued together and sometimes painted. Who would have thought potato stamps counted as painting? It always feels great when my opponent ooo's and ahh's over my paint job. Way I look at it is I have won the game before it even started.

    Of course the fluffy player is only skin deep. Inside, and sometimes outside, I laugh maniacally when tabling my opponent. And, cry when my dice have gone on strike. I don't complaing about armies except Space Marines. They always get a new codex when new edition is released (GW, please don't take away my Master of the Forge!). Would love for Eldar to get the first codex after a new edition.

    Exactly as you said. I lose a lot of games because I don't study my army enough. The games I do win is because my opponent studied less than I did. You've inspired me, I have decided to add to my Dark Eldar collection. Love your portal tactics. Thank you. Of course getting the models and knowing what to do is one thing. Successfully using them on the field is another. I will enjoy the learning curve.

    I hope to play against you, Naftka.

  2. So now it's bad to play the game for fun? Really seems like someone pissed in your tea about this!
    If you are in a tournament sure, but if it's a game at your FLGS you should talk to the other player and see what kind of game he wants to play.
    I for one would much rather play a narrative game.
    Try handing your book to your opponent and have him make out your army and same for him.


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